The Calm Before the Storm

Posted on February 25, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I got engaged the second week of January and two weeks later, on January 30th, my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. Before then we knew she was sick but had no idea it was cancer. She delayed seeing the doctor because she was uninsured and waiting to get onto Medicare. I too am uninsured – in the country that supposedly has the best healthcare in the world it is inaccessible to far too many people.

The cancer has spread to several organs and there is no hope of recovery. The focus is on simply giving her the least painful death.

I’ve returned to Utah to stay with her and give her whatever help I can. Many days I spend just doing housework and cooking meals. But all of that will change soon. She starts chemotherapy in a week and radiation treatment a week after that. While these are painful treatments, they are done because if they don’t do it then her death will be excruciatingly painful.

I see my mother try to prepare herself for what’s to come and know that she has no good choices. Right now we are in a relatively easy period before the coming storm.

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Comments
  • Chris Bliss February 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    So sorry Saundra – how incredibly difficult. My best wishes. There may be no good choices but there’s always hope.

  • Ava February 25, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    My sympathies.

  • Saundra February 25, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Thank you both.

  • Nita February 26, 2012 at 11:21 am

    So sorry to hear about what you are going through. My husband’s father passed with Cancer and aside from giving your time and love, easing any pain you can at this point I’m sure is the most important thing you can do.

  • Shawna February 26, 2012 at 11:52 am

    Regret my first comment on your blog I follow with much interest is under such unfortunate circumstances. Sending you strength for the journey you have ahead. Having very until recently served as a companion on my Mom’s journey through the last stages of her disease I hope you can find moments to cherish with each other that will get your both through what lies ahead.

  • ds February 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Really sorry to hear this Saundra. Hoping for strength for you and your mom.

  • [...] at Good Intentions are Not Enough has some sad news: “I got engaged the second week of January and two weeks later, on January 30th, my mother [...]

  • Wayan February 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    My dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 too. Terminal. He passed a few months later. He went with his head held high. I wish your mother the same strength.

  • Agnese February 27, 2012 at 5:18 am

    Congratulations on the engagement! I hope that relationship will be a source of strength in the trying times ahead. In situations with no good options, all we can do is be there for one another.

  • Jodie February 28, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Sorry that this has happened to your mother and family.

  • Brigid February 28, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Oh Saundra! What an emotional time. I’m as thrilled for you and your fiancee as I am saddened by the news of your mother. Please know you’re in my thoughts.

  • Helen March 8, 2012 at 3:07 am

    So sorry Saundra. Wishing you all much strength.

  • Maya March 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    I haven’t stopped by your blog for a while. So sorry to hear your news. It’s good you are able to be with your mom. Wishing you both strength.

  • Max March 17, 2012 at 5:44 am

    Praying for you and wishing you and your family all the best.

  • Saundra March 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Thanks everyone. There have been some really hard days, but a few good ones as well. My fiancée’ is here with me and that has helped a lot. It also helps to know so many people care.